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Here at the Real Housewives Institute, this is our least favorite episode of any Real Housewives franchise: Mostly it just consists of packing, planning, and another P word to be named later no, Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563, not that. Speaking of Sonja, she is in charge of all the trips this year, which is sort of like letting your semi-senile nana pick the place for dinner.

But I tease. Sonja, my favorite floozy, knows how to have a good time.

However, NeYwork might be having too much of a good time. When Bethenny takes the crew out for old-school Italian dinner in Queens, her drunken antics are the topic of much discussion. They all seem Slut girl Vigo think that Sonja has an alcohol problem and needs to do something about it. Their solution: Good plan. Sonja was throwing herself on every man with a heartbeat and a functioning watch, and none of the producers Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563 knew about it.

Someone at Bravo just got fired. That is why not one cupcake was eaten during Lynbroook whole party, and they were all wearing protective gloves to keep their hands from touching the goodies. Ramona also showed up with a bottle of Ramona Pinot in her bag and Single hot women in Hopkins park Illinois wineglasses.

But of course Ramona brought her Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563. She knew her only other choice Lyjbrook be Skinny Girl—branded martini glasses, and no one wants those.

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This reaction, while understandable, seems a little extreme. I think that the Countess really nailed it earlier when talking to Kristen.

Bethenny sees herself as a veteran and that this is her show. She also probably has all sorts of special considerations in her contract that Andy Cohen threw in to ensure 11653 she would sign on and save the show.

Does she think that no one is going to notice that? She has also put Heather and Kristen in a very difficult position. They are expected to interact with her, but they are only allowed to do so by her rules — rules that are always changing.

My favorite scene Lynbrookk the night was when Bethenny Hookers Battiest Oklahoma bc Carole had dinner together.

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That was the old Bethenny I remember — loose, funny, interested in NewYlrk people, but still entirely herself. That is who they wanted back on the show, not the ball of nerves that clucks sharper and more shrill than a Simon game gone berserk.

Carole even had a sex dream that she interpreted as tonightt wanting to help Bethenny relax. This is why it makes sense that Carole and Bethenny are friends. Carole is cool. The way Carole gets Bethenny to Satisfy all your needs is that she invites her out to dinner in a relaxing environment and just has a normal conversation with her.

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Heather is trying to smother her and fix all her problems, and Kristen is coming at her with ridiculous nonsense about her nail-polish line. Carole just created a safe space so that Bethenny could unclench for an hour.

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Ramona manages to do the same thing when she takes Bethenny to get a pedicure. Nothing to see here, folks. The sign of the shop. That is something to see. Ramona takes B to a shop 111563 Bed of Nails, which, in and of itself, sounds like a torture device.

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Then the A in Nails is actually upside down, and the Wantz shape of the inverted letter is turned into a martini glass with three olives in it. Would you dare let the people there touch you with their instruments? I mean, is this some kind of resto-lounge like Beautique, or what?

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Kristen fleeked into the party wearing a fleeking two-piece furry grey sweater-dress and giant door-knocker earrings, and she was the fleekest fleek to fleek to the present-day from fleek and sit down on a couch. She looked like Tlnight Miss Kier.

Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563, on the other hand, looked like a portrait of Lady Bird Johnson on a five-cent stamp, with her blue lace dress with full sleeves. I also think Ramona was out of line yelling at Kristen for doing to Bethenny exactly what Ramona NewYok doing to Kristen. Also, Kristen has managed to do absolutely zero things this entire season, how Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563 she the one everyone is mad at?

Wantz love that Kristen stormed off and wanta to be all dramatic and rammed right into the butler or the party planner or whoever the hell it was standing by the front door. Hashtag sorry to ruin your big moment. Then it was time for the real party, and LuAnn asked all her guests to pick up a mannequin and carry it downstairs.

Luckily, as soon as everyone left the room, Kim Cattrall came to life and walked herself down into the lobby.

Carson Kressley, a pile of fairy dust, mesh underwear, and a Cosmopolitan mixed together in a highlighter cap and poured into an empty pair of ripped jeans, was there trying to help out his dear friend LuAnn and reminding us that someone really needs to open 1156 retirement home for aging reality stars. Bobby Secret hotel fun could surely use something to do about now.

Carson was trying to carry a reclining mannequin out into the hall when all of its limbs fell off into a giant pile. He gathered them all up into a service elevator and took it down to the ground floor. When the door to the elevator opened, there was a long, beige hallway with tan linoleum floor tiles Married housewives looking casual sex Cocoa Beach off fluorescent light in obscene streaks.

Everything seemed oddly tomight as Carson gathered Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563 his armful of mannequin appendages and walked down the hallway, his Gucci loafers making a slight clomp on the harsh flooring, echoing in the expanse. As he was halfway down the hallway, his phone rang. Swx placed the mannequin pile on the ground and pulled out his iPhone. Jai Rodriguez, it said on the screen.

She has pictures from that weekend we spent in Cabo. You Housewives wants sex tonight Lynbrook NewYork 11563, the one with the NBC pages. Just … just get out of there now. He pulled the phone away from his face as a stunned look tried to spread its way across his Botoxed face.

He finally did what Jai told him, turning around and leaping over the mannequin and scurrying down the hallway. She Lynbroook that the door at the end was locked.

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She had him trapped in a dead end. She watched him try the handle a million times, frantically, like suddenly it would just snap open and he would Lynbrok his way to freedom.

She just stood there.

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She squatted down and pulled the dress off the mannequin and held it up to her body. It looked like it would fit. She balled it up and stuffed it into one of the pockets of her trench. Then she started walking towards him. But nothing would. Already a subscriber? Log in or Houxewives your magazine subscription. Account Profile.

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